Dumb business news.......

mlittle · Post by **mlittle** » Sat May 27, 2006 4:01 pm

This thread's similar to the dumb criminal news...... thread, only instead of looking at bright criminal geniuses, this thread's gonna' poke a bit of fun at bright buisness geniuses......

Case in point: How's this for an abuse of power? A woman in Flint, Mich. had been delinquent in paying her electric bill....to the tune of $1,662.08 to Consumers Electric. After getting support from family, friends and several public-assistance agencies, she paid the power company the entire bill sans one cent. That's right, $1,662.07. Consumers Electric's response......they cut her power off for seven hours, saying they wouldn't restore the current until she paid the one additional penny.

After getting the one additional penny, they restored her home's power.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm willing to wager that the officials running Consumers Electric never took any classes in common sense.

Snowy · Post by **Snowy** » Sat May 27, 2006 8:18 pm

It would have cost 'em about $200 to cut her off!

They've been taking lessons on economics and customer relations from Max Mosely and Bernie Ecclestone!

mlittle · Post by **mlittle** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:29 pm

And you wonder why the telephone companies get no repsect in the United States.......read on.

This example of business "genius" belongs to ole' Ma Bell, a/k/a AT & T. Recently, they sent out their newest incarnation of a privacy policy to long-distance telephone subscribers, and it says that "AT & T continues its' practice of not sharing customer data with third parties formarketing and other purposes." When it comes to the U.S government, though, apparently they don't follow their own advice.

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, AT & T, Verizon Wireless and a number of other phone companies have been routinely doling out customer phone records to both the Department of Justice and the National Security Agency. Now, if the Chronicle's to be believed, AT & T recently notified its' Internet and video subscribers that "AT & T plans to track their service usage in order to protect legitimate business interests, safeguard customer relations and respond to legal processes."

Remember that old slogan they had......Reach out and touch someone.....; they should change it to IMHO, Reach out and spy on you.......

jacfan · Post by **jacfan** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:54 pm

Digital Rights Management
The furor dies down, but only after Sony says that the real intent was to prevent the spread of the malicious Celine Dion virus.

Sony BMG installs software on its CDs "to prevent unlimited copying and unauthorized redistribution," but the software makes customers' PCs vulnerable to hackers and viruses. Software maker Internet Security Systems labels Sony's program malicious. Ultimately, Sony offers uninstall software and has to recall millions of albums, including On Ne Change Pas (One Does Not Change), by Celine Dion.

jacfan · Post by **jacfan** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:56 pm

Speaking at an ad industry event in Toronto, WPP Group's worldwide creative director, Neil French, says there aren't more female creative directors "because they're crap" and they eventually "wimp out" and "go off and suckle something." French speaks from a stage decorated as a hunting lodge while being served drinks by a woman in a skimpy maid's outfit, of whom he asks, "Could you lean over a bit more?" Two weeks later WPP accepts French's resignation.

mlittle · Post by **mlittle** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 8:43 pm

Are these things indispensable or what????

1}There are now audio-software programs that reproduce the hubbub, acreaming and mayhem of stock trading floors for stock traders who now work in quiet offices rather than on trading floors. According to The Wall Street Journal, the programs were created because the traders reportedly missed the noise of the trading floors. Okay...........

2}Isn't the U.S. Patent Office great, or what? Last month, they awarded someone a patent for......."a ropeless jump-rope"(which electronically mimics the feel of a real jump-rope). When asked why he would invent such a thing, the man said "it would be practical for mental institutions and prisons, where actual rope is banned." Maybe it's just me, but you'd think the Patent Office would have better things to do than issue patents for "ropeless jump ropes".

jacfan · Post by **jacfan** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 9:23 pm

mlittle wrote:Are these things indispensable or what????

1}There are now audio-software programs that reproduce the hubbub, acreaming and mayhem of stock trading floors for stock traders who now work in quiet offices rather than on trading floors. According to The Wall Street Journal, the programs were created because the traders reportedly missed the noise of the trading floors. Okay...........

2}Isn't the U.S. Patent Office great, or what? Last month, they awarded someone a patent for......."a ropeless jump-rope"(which electronically mimics the feel of a real jump-rope). When asked why he would invent such a thing, the man said "it would be practical for mental institutions and prisons, where actual rope is banned." Maybe it's just me, but you'd think the Patent Office would have better things to do than issue patents for "ropeless jump ropes".

Luckily for the US Patent Office there are as many idiots not working there as there are (obviously) working there.

Certainly gives employment to those who would otherwise not able to hold down a job

mlittle · Post by **mlittle** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 9:25 pm

jacfan wrote:
mlittle wrote:Are these things indispensable or what????

1}There are now audio-software programs that reproduce the hubbub, acreaming and mayhem of stock trading floors for stock traders who now work in quiet offices rather than on trading floors. According to The Wall Street Journal, the programs were created because the traders reportedly missed the noise of the trading floors. Okay...........

2}Isn't the U.S. Patent Office great, or what? Last month, they awarded someone a patent for......."a ropeless jump-rope"(which electronically mimics the feel of a real jump-rope). When asked why he would invent such a thing, the man said "it would be practical for mental institutions and prisons, where actual rope is banned." Maybe it's just me, but you'd think the Patent Office would have better things to do than issue patents for "ropeless jump ropes".
Luckily for the US Patent Office there are as many idiots not working there as there are (obviously) working there. Certainly gives employment to those who would otherwise not able to hold down a job

Now that I think of it.....ain't civil service grand or what?

It could be a lot worse, though, jacfan.....those geniuses at the Patent Office could be on either end of Pennsylvania Avenue.

Julian Mayo · Post by **Julian Mayo** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 3:39 pm

mlittle wrote:
jacfan wrote:
mlittle wrote:Are these things indispensable or what????

1}There are now audio-software programs that reproduce the hubbub, acreaming and mayhem of stock trading floors for stock traders who now work in quiet offices rather than on trading floors. According to The Wall Street Journal, the programs were created because the traders reportedly missed the noise of the trading floors. Okay...........

2}Isn't the U.S. Patent Office great, or what? Last month, they awarded someone a patent for......."a ropeless jump-rope"(which electronically mimics the feel of a real jump-rope). When asked why he would invent such a thing, the man said "it would be practical for mental institutions and prisons, where actual rope is banned." Maybe it's just me, but you'd think the Patent Office would have better things to do than issue patents for "ropeless jump ropes".
Luckily for the US Patent Office there are as many idiots not working there as there are (obviously) working there. Certainly gives employment to those who would otherwise not able to hold down a job
Now that I think of it.....ain't civil service grand or what? It could be a lot worse, though, jacfan.....those geniuses at the Patent Office could be on either end of Pennsylvania Avenue.

I thought they were

jacfan · Post by **jacfan** » Mon Jul 10, 2006 9:24 pm

Generally when they retire from the patents office they take up roles in politics.

mlittle · Post by **mlittle** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 4:00 pm

American tax dollars at work..................

Q: How many government agencies does it take to remove an animal carcass?

A: Well..........

Here's what happened..........in West Milford, W.Va., neighbors near a river dam complained to authorities about the remains of a cow that had gotten caught on an overhanging tree branch that was "grossing" some of them out. So, what were the differing responses they got? Take your pick on this one........
~~W. Milford city officials said that the carcass was outside their jurisdiction
~~W.Va. Dept. of Natural Resources officials said they only handle wild animals
~~W.Va. Environmental Protection Agency officials said there was no ecological risk from the carcass
~~W.Va. Agriculture Dept. officials said it was a local issue
~~W. Milford Water Resources officials also declined to intervene

there was a happy ending to this story......after five weeks of indecision, several members of the W.Va. National Guard, along with the state Division of Highways, removed the carcass from the tree branch

mlittle · Post by **mlittle** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 3:10 pm

.......Can't you just feel the entreprenurial spirit?..........

Here are two examples......

1}Salon facials in New York City now include(for instance, at the Nabi Med Spa) one that uses stem cells from pregnant cows to rejuvenate damaged skin(for $250 USD), and (at the La Prairie Spa) another that firms the face through applications of caviar(for $270 USD).

2}Scientists at the British Egg Information Service recently announced the imminent availability of a "smart egg" that to solve that age-old question of when an egg is properly "soft-, medium-, or hard-boiled". How did they do that? By creating an egg containing an invisible ink on the shell that turns black when the egg is boiled to the right amount....

Maybe its' just me, but do you get the idea that the people in #1 and #2 have way too much time on their hands?

jacfan · Post by **jacfan** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 4:32 pm

I don't see why they didn't use the cow carcass from West Milford for a body wrap.... does wonders for celulite.

As for the egg with dye, that is totally stupid. If you can't cook an egg the way you like it then stiff cheddar. Who cares and why should government funding be given to idiots who come up with these schemes.

Julian Mayo · Post by **Julian Mayo** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 6:29 pm

jacfan wrote:I don't see why they didn't use the cow carcass from West Milford for a body wrap.... does wonders for celulite.

As for the egg with dye, that is totally stupid. If you can't cook an egg the way you like it then stiff cheddar. Who cares and why should government funding be given to idiots who come up with these schemes.

On the other hand, when one is about to watch a footy semi-final, and a child decides it wants to cook boiled eggs for the first time those eggs would prevent,
A. The waste of 8 eggs
B. The destruction of a saucepan
C. Gastric Ulcers
D. Domestic Violence
E. Lack of sleep, thru having to stay up for the replay.

This friday night we are having pizza delivered before the game starts.

jacfan · Post by **jacfan** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:25 pm

Julian Mayo wrote:
jacfan wrote:I don't see why they didn't use the cow carcass from West Milford for a body wrap.... does wonders for celulite.

As for the egg with dye, that is totally stupid. If you can't cook an egg the way you like it then stiff cheddar. Who cares and why should government funding be given to idiots who come up with these schemes.
On the other hand, when one is about to watch a footy semi-final, and a child decides it wants to cook boiled eggs for the first time those eggs would prevent,
A. The waste of 8 eggs
B. The destruction of a saucepan
C. Gastric Ulcers
D. Domestic Violence
E. Lack of sleep, thru having to stay up for the replay.

This friday night we are having pizza delivered before the game starts.

I would suggest well before the games starts so that you don't have to deal with fighting over slices of pizza and bits of ham etc being tossed at you during the game. Get dinner finished, kids washed and put to bed.