Stories From the Paddock

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Subject:What does an IRL team co-owner, IRL driver and former F1 racer have in common?

Well, for Vision Racing co-owner Patrick Dempsey, 2005 IRL ROY Danica Patrick and former Formula 1 racer Mika Hakkinen, they're all going to co-host Speed Channel's "Test Drive" show with host, former Trans-Am champion Tommy Kendall. Basically, what Kendall and the guest hosts do is that they take a selected vehicle, and basically torture the h--- out of em' on the test track. Past episodes have featured Kendall and 4-time Nextel Cup champion Jeff Gordon testing GM's new Corvette ZO6(the passenger equiv. to the ALMS C6-R Corvette) at Road Atlanta, and some of the tracks the show goes to are as varied as the vehicles too. Past episodes have seen Kendall travel to Laguna Seca and other places in North America.

In the show's latest episodes, Kendall's heading to Willow Springs Raceway to test the 2006 Lexus IS 350 w/Demspey, co-owner of the IRL's Vision Racing team and new competitor to the Rolex Grand-Am Cup series. Next, he and IRL racer Patrick are headed to Phoenix's Firebird Intl. Raceway to test the 2006 Honda Civic SI, and, finally, watch Kendall cross the Atlantic to Germany's Hockenheim circuit to test some of the latest models of Mercedes-Benz's AMG vehicles with Hakkinen. It's a pretty interesting show, sort of a cross btwn. "Fifth Gear", "Top Gear" and "Car & Driver".

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NOTE:I would have put this story up sooner, but I've heard so many different versions that I wanted to hear it from either of the principals involved beforehand. Well, after hearing both Speed Channel "Test Drive" host Tommy Kendall and IRL driver Danica Patrick discuss the story in question, here's what happened......

First, a little background...When the Champ Car World Series travels to Long Beach, California for the Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach, one of the support races run during the weekend is the Toyota Pro/Celebrity Race, in which a group of professional racers and a gaggle of celebrities race around the street circuit in identically-prepared Toyota cars. In 2002, both Patrick and Kendall, along with 2001 overall Pro/Celeb winner Peter Reckell and then-IRL racer Sarah Fisher, were set to race in the event. Right before the race, Kendall made a "wager" of sorts w/the then 20-yr. old Patrick, betting that whoever won....would get to walk the other up-and-down the pitlane at Long Beach........whilst leading them with a dog leash.

While Olympic-medal winner Dara Torres won the overall title that year, Patrick won the pro division, with Fisher a very close 2nd, and poor ole' Tommy 3rd. Know what happened next......everyone in the paddock was laughing their collective a---- off watching the 5'2" Patrick leading the near-6' tall Kendall up-and-down the very long pitlane, with leash AND collar securely around Kendall.

Remeber when I said that racers in NA motorsports sometimes act as though they're in a large fraternity of sorts? This story should be example #2 of that(my first two postings on this thread are, combined, example #1).

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Last year, after the drivers' meeting prior to the IndyCar Series race at Motegi, Japan, several of the drivers were asked the following question.....If I wasn't a racecar competitor, I probably would be.....?

Here were some of the answers......

A.J Foyt, IV(former driver, #14 ABC Supply Dallara/Toyota):"I'd be a coach of a high school basketball team. Hopefully I'd be the athletic director so I didn't have to teach anything."

Sam Hornish, Jr.(#6 Marlboro/Team Penske Dallara/Toyota):"I'd probably make a living by owning an automotive customizing shop. I really enjoy taking something that is stock and making it cooler."

Buddy Rice(#15 Argent/Pioneer Panoz/Honda):"I would have pursued a career in baseball. I played shortstop and second base in high school."

Vitor Meira(#17 Johns Manville/Menards Panoz/Honda):"I'd be an athlete in some other sport. I can't stand to be in an office all day."

Danica Patrick(#16 Argent/Pioneer Panoz/Honda):"I have never thought about it. I like doing the television stuff with Spike TV, so maybe in that field."

Scott Sharp(#8 Delphi Panoz/Honda):"I would be working on Wall Street in some type of fast-paced investment-oriented business."

But my favorite quote of the day was this one.....

Roger Yasukawa(former driver, #24 RollCoaster Dallara/Honda):"A pilot."

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During the IndyCar Series weekend at Richmond a few weeks ago, one standing in the paddock would've been witness to three different ways that an IndyCar Series driver can draw a crowd........

The first is to be fast, and that honor at Richmond belonged to Marlboro-Team Penske's Helio Castroneves, who was on the pole for the SunTrust Indy Challenge race. He was standing near the team's transporter, signing autographs for a few dozen people.

Nearby, in the Rahal-Letterman Racing paddock area, Buddy Rice had drawn a crowd of fans....for the second way to draw a crowd; he had crashed in the final practice session, and the crowd watched his team break down and repair the #15 Argent/Pioneer car(things replaced included the gear box assembly, rear-wing assembly, rear undertray vents, and both the left-rear and left-front suspensions). In edition, since series rules require an engine change for said damage, the HPD techs were helping as well, removing the H-16R engine and checking the chassis mounts for damage.

Now, those are two of the ways to draw a crowd. The third way is to be famous, and Rice's teammate, Danica Patrick, was example 1 of that axiom; she had more fans waiting for autographs than Helio did. Eventually, though, she had other things to attend to, so after signing tons of autographs, she hopped on a scooter towards the track's tunnel exit, where...you guessed it, she signed more autographs. Let's hope that RLR spends enough money on pens for autographs.....

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What will they think of next?


News reports from Chicagoland(thanks, Joliet Jake!) are that some, ummm.....interesting things are going on in the IndyCar paddock. It seems the battle of Ganassi v. Penske has taken a comical, sardonic twist....

Wednesday, Sept. 6.........secret cameras hidden within the paddock caught TGR's Dan Wheldon messin' around the Penske paddock, stuffing bananas into the exhaust vents of the Penskes' IndyCars and running away laughing his --- off...... Penske officials are discussing the proper way to remove the foreign fruit. As a security precaution, Gene Simmons(ya' know, that IRL marketing genius...... ) has vowed to protect the Penske garage....by belting out that smash marketing tune, I Am Indy in order to scare away potential saboteurs....

Thursday, Sept. 7...........apparently, the Captain has struck back at the Chipster. According to Ganassi, Penske driver Sam Hornish, Jr. was seen spiriting away tires assigned to Ganassi's teams, assisted by members of Silent Sam's "over-the-wall gang". While the Captain said he didn't condone such activity, he didn't criticize Sam, either. Meanwhile, Simmons has lost his voice(...thankfully..... ...........) after belting out "I Am Indy" for 24 straight hours. Unfortunately, he may have also hurt Penske's chances at a title, as he's rendered most of Silent Sam's "over-the-wall gang" temporarily deaf.


More reports to follow in this comical tale.....has anyone seen Joliet Jake? He's supposed to pick me up at T-K's plider.....then again, has anyone seen T-K's plider?

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Adding to the above post..........

What's next, fellas.....stolen racefuel?

Sat., Sept. 9--Apparently, that's exactly what has transpired. According to the cameras located inside the Chicagoland paddock, Penske driver Helio Castroneves was seen siphoning the fuel from both of Ganassi's cars. He must've liked the taste of the fuel, for as he was siphoning the fuel, he turned to the cameras, smiled and said in a drawn-out manner.........

Eeee---Thannn-----oollll!!!!

What will happen next? What hijinxs will transpire......speaking of which, has anybody seen Scott Dixon lately?

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Here is the Newsweek article link.....
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14870541/site/newsweek

Apparently, she's not just a racecar driver, but a powerful leader as well.....

These women are poised to be the next generation of leaders in their fields--whether its' sports, politics, business, finance or the arts. In their own words, they tell how they got where they are and where they hope to go next.

With that, Newsweek's cover story for the Sept. 25th edition features 20 leading women in various fields, from sports to music, entertainment to politics, finance and otehr diverse fields. Those featured include IRL IndyCar driver Danica Patrick, musician Queen Latifah, "Today" co-host Meredith Vieira, NASA CFO Gwen Sykes, Google VP Marissa Mayer and Brown University Pres. Ruth Simmons. It's an insightful read and, as stated above, is the lead article in this week's Newsweek.

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During the off-season, many drivers will take whatever opportunities to get additional seat time, regardless of vehicle. Case in point......2004 and 2005 IndyCar Series champions Tony Kanaan and Dan Wheldon, who are headed down to Interlagos, Brazil to compete in the 500 Milhas Granja Vieja karting event. Joining them on the trip down are fellow IndyCar Series drivers Felipe Giaffone, Helio Castroneves and Vitor Meira, along with Indy Pro Series competitor Jaime Camara. For both Kanaan and Wheldon, it marks an opportunity to win their third consectutive Granja Vieja race; as w/last year, they'll share a kart w/Formula 1 driver Rubens Barrichello.

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Recently, three IndyCar Series drivers were honored/featured recently in various venues............

~~Recently, construction and renovations began on the Defiance Senior Center in Defiance, Ohio, hometown of 2006 Indy 500 winner and 3-time IndyCar Series champion Sam Hornish, Jr. Silent Sam helped get things rolling by purchasing 500 commemorative Christmas ornaments from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in order to raise money for the projects in question; Hornish, Jr. signed each one of the 500, which will be auctioned off by the city to help finance the projects listed

~~2-time Indy 500 winner Helio Castroneves was featured in the November 2006 edition of Vogue Hombre, the Latin American edition of Men's Vogue magazine as part of their "50 most elegant men" feature; the list also included actors Andy Garcia and Wilmer Valderrama and director Robert Rodriguez

~~Finally, add another award to her mantlepiece, as 2005 IndyCar Series Rookie of the Year and incoming Andretti-Green Racing driver Danica Patrick was honored by the March of DImes at its' 23rd annual New York State Luncheon as Sportswoman of the Year. Also receiving awards at the function, which was held Nov. 29th, included Andre Agassi(Sportsman of the Year), WNBA President Donna Orlander(Sports Leadership Award) and HBO Sports President Robert Greenburg(Corporate Leadership Award).

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Every so often, this question will pop up, whether its' to an IndyCar Series driver, a team driver, or whoever's hanging around the paddock. (Heck, I've even been asked that..... ). Recently, several IndyCar Series drivers were asked, When driving on the interstate, what irritates you the most about the drivers?

Here are their responses................

Ed Carpenter, Vision Racing:

The biggest thing for me is people and it seems that those with Ohio license plates that tend to just sit in the fast lane of the highway. If you're not passing somebody, get over to the right. You gotta have proper lane usage.

Sarah Fisher, Dreyer & Reinbold Racing:

The ones who are going the same speed as the cars next to them. That is the most irritating.

Jay Howard, Sam Schmidt Motorsports(IPS):

The most irritating thing is traffic. I absolutely hate traffic. Second to that are people who don't pay attention, who just sit there. Two people, side by side, whether they are doing 10 miles per hour, 50 miles per hour, 100 miles per hour, or whatever. When they are side by side, it is so annoying.

Jeff Simmons, Rahal-Letterman Racing:

I think this is a pretty common answer, but those traveling in the left lane who are not keeping with the pace.

Bryan Herta, Andretti-Green Racing(ALMS):

People who stop on freeway on-ramps when they can't figure out how to get onto the freeway right.

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You know it's sometimes scary what one finds when cleaning out press notes and satirical stories........

When the 2007 IndyCar Series season started back in late March at Homestead-Miami Speedway, it seemed like the usual Ganassi runaway, yet things seemingly got so serious that the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency(EPA) were called in..........the reason being the numerous reports of drivers running in "dirty air" around the track.

According to an EPA spokesman, "We had multiple, repeated incidences of "dirty air" around the track between 7:30 and 10:30 pm on the night of March 24th. We tested the area extensively and found some strange anomalies, but nothing substantive. It is the opinion of the EPA that most of the "dirty air" reports were due to excessive visits to the Club Patron hospitality tents in the infield paddock area." Okay, then..........

Although they weren't able to find anything, there were a few incidents logged for reference in the EPA's final report.......
~~minute traces of organic materials found that are used in beer fermentation
~~minute traces of........how can I put it........"wee-wee", found in one location traced back to 2 individuals, T. Scheckter and M. Roth
~~remnants of an alluring-yet-subtlely-powerful scent traced back to one D. Patrick
~~very, very high levels of another smell codenamed "b----slap" that was traced back to the transport haulers belonging to one C. Ganassi and containing the racecars of a driver named D. Wheldon

Although hazmat teams have left the Homestead area, the report notes that the EPA will be setting up numerous "BOSA" scent-scanners(BOSA stands for B----slap Odor Sensor Arrays) throughout other IndyCar Series venues in hopes of preventing similar "dirty air" incidents..........

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It's one thing for an IndyCar Series driver to be toasted, another when they're roasted.......but Phil Giebler wins this year's "Toasted and Roasted" award for the past week's actions...........

--for being the fastest rookie in the field, Giebler was toasted by the Indiana Dairy Association at the 30th annual Fastest Rookie luncheon and was presented w/a check for $5,000
--for being in the last row, he'll join Richie Hearn and Roberto Moreno in a roast held by IMS officials known as the Last Row Party

But what was Giebler's worst moment of the past week? It wasn't crashing during Third Day Qualifications........no, it was when he locked the keys to his rental car inside the car on Sunday.

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Recently, IndyCar Series drivers Tomas Scheckter and Scott Dixon traveled to Watkins Glen to do some PR and promotional work in preparations for the upcoming Watkins Glen Indy Grand Prix...and while they were there, they got a chance to test their culinary skills at the New York Wing & Culinary Center; both Scheckter and Dixon participated in an "Iron Chef"-style competition......so what did they fix respectively?

~~Scheckter's menu..............
--Grilled flank steak w/cream of mushroom sauce
--Grilled asparagus marinated w/soy sauce
--Grilled shrimp accented w/lemon juice
--Boiled & fried new potatoes seasoned w/rosemary and garlic
--Chocolate-covered strawberries sprinkled w/powdered sugar

~~Dixon's menu..................
--Grilled flank steak seasoned w/peppercorn
--Grilled mushrooms and asparagus
--Mashed potatoes w/chives and bleu cheese
--Baked scallops and chorizo in a roasted salsa
--Fruit parfait w/fennel and mint

Afterwords, members of the center's culinary staff judged their creations; unlike on the racetrack where Dixon has had the better season, it was Cape Town, S.A.'s Scheckter who won their competition...here were some quotes from their event...............

Tomas Scheckter, Vision Racing:

Cooking was fun. It was a different experience to do this for a media event; we had a lot of fun and I won, which was an amazing victory on my behalf and the team's behalf. Our pitstops were great and so were my potatoes.

Scott Dixon, Target/Ganassi Racing:

I really need to do some practicing in the kitchen and I want a rematch next year.

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note.......this is satire.........I think...........

According to news reports, IRL officials are instituting Green Zone-type security protections throughout the Chicagoland area this weekend in the runup to the 2007 IRL season finale........indeed, IRL security chief Charles(who's last name is a state secret!........ ) has brought in the heavy weapons for this weekend, including.........
--pepper spray and mace
--cans of CN/CS tear gas w/tear gas dispensers
--tasers and stun guns
--ninja weapons
--Bull---- detectors
--B----slap detectors
--hard card shredders
--accusation deflectors
--barrels of security whoopass
--dozens of three ft. long flashlights
--a large shark cage for keeping unruly family members(....paging T.J. Patrick, Mr. Patrick, your room is ready....... )
--rubber gloves(don't ask...... )

In addition, there are a few other rules.............
--Anyone found wearing their hats backwards will be beaten, stomped and trampled upon
--There may or may not be snipers posted along the spotters' gallery or on top of race control

When asked about all the Green Zone protections being put into place, series officials replied, "There's nothing to see here; move along! "

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For many pro athletes, talking about caring for the environment is nothing more than platitudes and promises......not so rising Indy Pro Series driver Leliani Munter, who competed in two IPS races this year and plans to compete in a full 2008 IPS campaign. Munter, who is well known for her views on the environment, has committed to purchasing one acre of rainforest for every IPS race she competes in(2 acres so far from here two events in 2007)....as the outspoken Munter puts it,

I felt a responsibility to do something about the impact I have on the environment because of my racing career. I am speaking out about my actions in hopes of bringing awareness to race fans and the racing community. If I can get one person to think twice about their impact on the Earth and start recycling and conserving energy, then it's working. We need to take better care of our planet.

Supporting her in her efforts are sponsor SMART Papers, an eco-friendly company based in Miami and the World Land Trust; here is a quote from the World Land Trust on Munter's efforts.....

Bryon Swift, President, World Land Trust:

World Land Trust helps local organizations buy, protect and replant tropical rainforest to help absorb the carbon we pour into the air. Every time Leilani races, she helps us purchase one more acre of endangered tropical rainforest. It's just great that she's doing this and at the same time raising awareness in the racing community of the need to balance our carbon usage.

Combining a love of racing and a love for the environment, I do believe she is, as fellow AOWR Internet blogger Pressdog would put it, "definitely sidepod-worthy".